her vagine was all disorganized.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize