Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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