when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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