A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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