Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
