What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
