I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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