waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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