So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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