Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
