Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
