I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
