wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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