if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
