I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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