I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Randomize
