Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The Olympian is in my bed
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
