I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
