I'd wear matching sweaters with you
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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