At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize