i may or may not be watching the land before time
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
as a side note pls kill me
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize