They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
