escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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