what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
