Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize