Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
