I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
