found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Life is so much better after having sex.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
