We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
