You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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