Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
