if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
false alarm. still invincible.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My life is pants optional.
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