I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
