she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
