I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
