You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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