I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
