So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
