At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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