She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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