Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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