Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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