I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize