I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
