No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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