At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
