Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
