Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
