All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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