I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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