I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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