Dual....:-)
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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