omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
