forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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