these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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