drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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