It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
