If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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