It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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