Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
