But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
