Its about making memories worth repressing
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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