Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
