So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
