Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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