How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
