pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I got her a Nickelback box set.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
